I still can't figure this one out.... They have a pill for everything from the flu to curring baldness, and they still have not came up with one to help me lose weight overnight? How come someone is not funding that research? I bet they would make millions! I sure as heck would want one. Hot date tomorrow, take a pill today, class reunion tomorrow, take your pill today. See what I mean? - Can someone work on that darn pill please!! OK really, it would be nice to have a pill like this but we all know that the only way to take the weight off and keep it off is to exercise and eat right. We have all heard it a million times! I'll just be honest with you though, I'm lazy. There I said it. I would much rather pop a "skinny" pill then get off my butt and walk for 30 minutes. But the feeling with this is, I think a lot of people would much rather do that. And I can bet, that is probably why I look the way I do right now.
Now there is a lot of stuff I can blame to make me feel better because I am fat. Lets see here.... My family, I have a large family so I will just be big. I am depressed, I eat when I get emotional. It's raining, - that is my favorite one since I live in Seattle. But the one that I went with for YEARS is "I have PCOS - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome". PCOS is a hormonal imbalance that causes you to have irregular menstruation, ovulation-related infertility, polycystic ovaries, excessive amounts or effects of androgenic hormones, resulting in acne and hirsutism; and insulin resistance, often associated with obesity, Type 2 diabetes, and high cholesterol levels. So once I found out that I had PCOS I gave up on weight loss. Everything you read tells you that your obese if you have PCOS. So I just went with this. And now, I am over being fat!! I just want to be "normal" again. Now I don't mean normal like size 0, model. I mean, not have to think about sitting in a chair because I don't know if it will hold me or not, not having to worry about how my kids friends see their fat mom, not having to worry about going out to eat and having everyone stare at you when you slide into a booth and you and your husband have to adjust the table to both fit, that is what I mean by normal.
I haven't always had PCOS and I haven't always been fat. In around 2003 I started putting on weight for no reason. I could not figure it out. We were planning on getting married in 2004 and I was working out, and eating right and nothing was working. So I went to the doctor and this is when I was tested for PCOS. By the time our wedding rolled around in Aug. of 2004 I had went from around 140 to about 200 lbs. I was so unhappy in my wedding dress. I couldn't figure out how to lose this weight. So I stayed around 200 - 220 until around 2006. In the end of 2006 I got pregnant with my daughter. When I got pregnant I was about 210, and when I gave birth I was about 230. I was really happy! That didn't last long though. Within about a month of having my daughter I started gaining weight like there was no tomorrow, and I never changed my diet or anything at all. Within about 4 months of having her I had went from about 230 to 280. I was freaking out! I went to the doctor again and told him that this couldn't happen even if I was going to McDonald's 3 times a day. It was crazy. So I ending up getting put on Metformin. It is a pill they use for diabetics but it helped even out my hormones, which helped to even out the weight gain. But no matter what I did, I couldn't lose the weight. So I just lived with it. I convinced myself that since I have PCOS that I can't lose the weight and that I am just going to be fat the rest of my life.
Over this last year, I have got winded walking from my car to the store, walking up my stairs at home, anything I do. I even went to the Doctor for that - trying to convince myself that I had asthma or something, in no way could it be that I was out of shape, caring too much weight for my heart and body. Nope... it couldn't be that!
Well it has to be my weight. I am now tired all the time, I never want to do anything but sit on the couch, and exercise is the farthest thing from my mind. But now I know I have to do something. I know there is not going to be some little pill to help me lose weight. There is no reason to not lose this weight - but there are a ton of reasons to do it.
Before I forget to tell ya, Nathan and I started up at the local gym. About 3/4 of us that are doing the biggest loser signed up for the local gym. I have been twice - still surprised that I can still walk - but I did it! I went there twice. And I plan to go there again tomorrow!! Shhhh don't tell anyone this but I felt so much better when I got done with it!! I wanted to keep going! The biggest part of the gym that I didn't like is sweat! I hate to sweat and I really hate to sweat in front of people. But WHO CARES!! I am doing this for me, not for anyone else!! So here we go, nasty sweat and all! I will let you know how it goes tomorrow!!